bombing:

i don’t care if you think it’s “improper first date attire” this suit of armor is enchanted and i’m wearing it

spookemoij:

What if a pregnancy test just said:
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

trillow:

*on the phone with police after reporting a murder* no you hang up first

toecruise:

toecruise:

i have more followers than people at my school

image

(Source: puto1)

thorxndor:

I was sitting on my friends bed with her when she came out as gay

and I was looking through a Chinese food pamphlet

so I put it down, looked at her and said “I was going to suggest ordering food but I see now you’d prefer to eat out”

and I don’t think she’s ever really forgave me